For two years since I've had my last girlfriend, those years were what I considered a "break". I had too many girls on me at once, and they always ended up breaking my heart simply because I was "too shy" and "too nice". After that "break", I started coming into actualization that I was no longer being pursued by females, and I was just as heartbroken as I was when I actually HAD girlfriends. As time went on, I started asking myself questions, reading books, having conversations, and just ANYTHING that could've helped me get my love life back. Eventually, I found that I was classified as a "Nice Guy"² based on obvious observations that weren't so obvious back then.

After I found this discovery, I learned over the years that everyone has their own opinion when it comes to society's views on the typical "Nice guy/girl". Because of this, this very topic, thousands (and possibly millions) of people have been growing hatred towards their same/opposite sex because they simply don't understand why things are the way they are. Genders clash together by throwing insults left and right, pointing out eachother's flaws, and/or just anything that will help them get their points across.

I was fortunate enough to not be part of the battle. After I started coming into actualization that I was not getting the ladies, I spent most of my time researching solutions instead of complaining. After four years of research, I believe I have found...not "a" book, but "THE" book. It's called "No More Mr. Nice Guy" by Dr. Robert A. Glover. Because you've probably never even read this book, let alone HEARD of it, I will discuss the important things that I have learned and understood that came directly from the book.

Because of experiments, Psychology tells us that our personalities are determined by our physical/mental environments and our genetics growing up as children. The most important years of parenting are the years when the child is still young because it is, for the most part, the only time when you can shape their personalities.

For the most part, I was raised by my mother. Although my mom was a good supportive mother, there is one thing that even the best mother can't teach her son -- how to be a man. Because of this, a lot of males grow up...basically being taught how to be a woman -- supportive, caring, emotional, trustworthy, etc. Basically, he grows up learning from his mother how to take care of people and the things around him, but he doesn't learn how to take care of himself as a man. He has no defense mechanism, he does all he can, and he believes that if he does "good" things for people, people will do good things for him.

The problem with all that is that he grows up doing "good" things for people EXPECTING to get "good" things in return, but when he doesn't get what he "deserves", ANYTHING could happen -- he could become violent, he could turn gay, he can turn into a "jerk", etc.

For the most part, "Nice Guys" believe that they are decent people. Being nice is a very good quality to have, but being a "Nice Guy" is actually WORSE than most (if not all) "Nice Guys" think they are:

- They are "manipulative"
- They are "controlling"
- They "give to get"
- They are "passive-aggressive" (meaning they "express their frustration and resentment in indirect, roundabout, and not so nice ways")
- They are "full of rage"
- They are "addictive" (since they keep their feelings bottled up inside, it has to leave somehow, right? So they develop addictions, such as "sexual compulsiveness")

The list goes on.

Now I'm not trying to make "Nice Guys" feel bad because I'd be...kind of shooting myself in the foot, but what I'm saying is that women aren't attracted to that kind of stuff, which could be part of the reason why you're still single, which could be the reason why you have ineffective relationships, etc.

This brings us to the fundamental question "why do women date assholes?" The reason why women date "assholes" isn't because they're attracted to mental/physical pain, it's because "assholes" possess qualities that are closest to a man:

- He "has a strong sense of self"
- "takes responsibility for getting his own needs met"
- "is comfortable with his masculinity and his sexuality"
- "has" a sense of "integrity"
- "is a leader"
- "is clear, direct, and expressive of his feelings"

and the list goes on again.

What I'm saying is that women date men for a specific purpose, that they have qualities of a man. If you're a "Nice Guy" out there and your life is like Bill Murray's life in the movie Groundhog Day, you need to do something completely different instead of doing the same thing everyday. Because of this, you will produce different results. That's why I highly recommend "No More Mr. Nice Guy" by Dr. Robert A. Glover.

Now...I'm not saying that you need to become an "asshole"/"jerk", what I'm saying is that becoming a man is the line that divides "jerk" and "Nice Guy". Once you start taking steps to become a man, or better yet...a DIFFERENT yet more effective man, you will come to the actualization that you could of finished first¹ a long time ago.

Women, you should read the book also because there's not a whole lot of differences. You also need to be comfortable with yourself, confident, etc. After all, most guys actually like girls who play hard to get.

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¹ There's a common saying that "nice guys finish last"
² Almost all the quotes in this entry are direct quotes from the book "No More Mr. Nice Guy" by Dr. Robert A. Glover

**** I would like to thank hopelessromantic for indirectly giving me the idea to talk about porn/masturbation because of her entry"

"Okay, I'm going".

What all does that statement mean? It could mean that the person is going to the bathroom, it could mean that the person is going to the store, or it could mean something entirely different. To me, sometimes it means I have the house all to myself, which means that I can do ANYTHING I want without having the fear of being caught.

When I hear that statement coming from the only person left in the house besides myself, I get excited (for the most part). I love to be around people, but I also enjoy being alone because I'm a completely different person. I turn up the music, I start singing to music. Some of the music I sing to are songs that people don't think I listen to -- Truly, Madly, Deeply by Savage Garden, A Whole New World (Aladdin theme song), and Incomplete by Backstreet Boys. The regular songs that people do think I listen to include Nothing Else Matters by Metallica, Mama Said by Metallica, It's Been a While by Staind, etc.

And then...the unthinkable happens. I find myself not listening to anything, and my mind begins to wander. I try to stop the sexual thoughts, but they keep multiplying in my head. My hands start being concentrated on a certain area, and then I find myself undoing my belt. At this point, I'm trying stop and move onto something else, but my mind keeps telling me "you've been stressed...why don't you relax". I give in. I can't resist any longer!

Y' see, at this point, a lot of guys (and possibly girls) go directly into the masturbation. They take their pants off, they might get that sex toy prepared, find a good porn video to watch or just some kind of stimulation to help out, but not me.

I've been masturbating since I was ten years old. I was engaging in sexual activities with a family member since I was six years old (it didn't a long time so don't worry). The surprising thing to say is that many people start young, or even YOUNGER than ten years old. Of my years of great masturbation, I was caught MANY MANY times by different family members (my sister being the main one). The one time I completely remember getting caught was when I was masturbating to porn at 4 in the morning and I fell asleep with porn opened, my pants down, my hand on my joystick. My mom was PISSED!

Anyways, I've learned a lot. You remember when I said in my last entry that "experience is the father of wisdom"? Well, it does. Over the years, I graduated from watching 30-second clips, to 50-minute clips! Over the years, I developed a procedure that dramatically decreases my chances of getting caught, and I would like to share them with you:

Step 1: Just like car procedures, you need to check your surroundings before entering the car. Is there someone in the house that I didn't think was? Are there any cars (except mine if you have a car) in the driveway? Is there anybody pulling up the driveway? Is there any evidence that will tell me an approximate time someone will be home? If you're absolutely sure you're home alone, then continue to step 2.

Step 2: If you can, lock your door -- at least close it. I must warn you though, if your parents are used to you locking the door, that's fine. But if you lock the door and you never locked the door before, they might be kind of suspicious. Not only will someone have to open the door to see what you're doing, but the sound coming from your speakers may also be muffled (if you decide to watch porn with the volume on) and they might not be able to hear it. Now if you're a girl and you lie on your bed, your voice may be minimized and (maybe if you use one) the sex toy will be hard to hear (if it vibrates of course).

Step 3: Step 3 varies between gender. For guys, all you really need a paper towel, some toilet paper, or whatever. For girls, could be NOTHING to a towel. It's better that you get ready NOW because if you just splooge yourself and someone walks in the house, you'll probably panic and rush to the bathroom. The point is that you want to make as little to no noise, and be as QUICK as possible.

Step 4: Find something that could help you cover up in case of emergency. It's sick to say, but I keep my boxers down at my ankles so I can just pull them up when I need to. If you wanna go full out naked, be sure that you'll have a back-up plan. When someone enters the house, you may have little to no time (or you could have a lot). If you plan your back-up plan beforehand, you won't have to make quick decisions, and you'll quietly, quickly, and efficitely cover up. Also, if someone asks what you are doing, make sure you have something to say about that.

Step 5: Find a good porn video. According to statistics , for every NORMAL website, there are 5 porn websites. It's really not that hard to find them. Step 5a: I will not tell you how you masturbate because only you can do that. So, begin. Step 5b. When masturbating, be prepared to take action if something goes wrong, but at the same time...ENJOY YOURSELF.

Step 6: After you finish, do whatever it takes to clean up. That includes getting rid of the evidence of porn. On Firefox, it couldn't be much simplier: Tools, Clear Private Data, and be sure to check "Browing History", "Saved Cache Form and Search History", Cache, Cookies. That's the very basic stuff, but assuming that your family members are not computer geniuses, you won't have to worry about getting caught with porn. If you're stupid enough to actually download porn, I suggest you create a file that sounds boring. "Untitled" is just asking for someone to click on that, but if you do something like "DellTech.net" I don't know, then they won't want to check that out. Also, make sub-folders if your family members have a habit of clicking on everything quickly. Do NOT make it a hidden file. Hidden files are very easy to find. So, I suggest you stick to porn on the internet. You run the risk of getting a virus, but it's easier to access, and harder for people to find the evidence.

With that being said, you should be fine with my advice. Everyone has a different way of dealing with things, so if you don't want to take my steps, you don't have to. But it's safe, and that's the most important thing.

Here's some things to take into consideration:

1. Ladies and gentlemen, if you have a sex picture/video on your computer, that doesn't mean it's safe. People can access your computer, and once they have that picture/video, they could post it all over the internet. Amateur porn videos get popular real quick. This includes MSN video chat, because there are programs that can record what's on the screen.

2. Even though you may be in the mood, if you choose to cyber sex with someone, make sure you know enough about the person. I made the mistake of cybering with "two blond chicks" 4-5 years ago, and they were my sister and cousin.

3. Sex toys are for anybody. Male or female. Just because you own one doesn't make you "pathetic", "desperate", a "whore", etc. Although it's best to keep it on the down-low and only tell people whom you trust because people will believe anything. Masturbation is also not "pathetic", "desperate", or it makes you a "whore". 80% of males have masturbated before the age of 18 (which I think is actually more than that), and 56% of women have masturbated before the age of 18.

4. Masturbation is healthy for you, and it does make you happy. =P

5. Anything that's done excessively is bad for you, but for the most part...a lot of scientists suggest that masturbation can prevent prostate cancer. There's really nothing bad about masturbation unless done excessively (the only problems you'll get are phsychological problems). For girls, I don't know if there's such thing as excessive.

Yesterday, I was having real trouble trying to find out what to type about in my next entry.

After all, what could a guy like me, an 18-year-old who hasn't had a relationship in over six years, possibly type about? I consulted with a friend on AIM and came to the conclusion that I had absolutely NOTHING to type about. I mean, it's not like I could talk about relationships, sex, or any of the things that I've never had before or in a long time, so what could I type about?

Before I went to bed, I was thinking long and hard about what to type about. Ironically, after I stopped thinking about it, a great idea hit me. Why don't I talk about self-confidence? After all, I feel pretty self-confident in myself, and SOME people said they actually envied my self-confidence. So, that's exactly what I decided to type about in my next entry.

So ask yourself this question: What is self-confidence?

You might be thinking "self confidence is having confidence in yourself...DUH! What a stupid question, Brandon. I outta slap you across the face with a wet fish". Well, if it's such an easy question...then why do people have a problem applying it to their own lives? Why can't everyone have confidence in their own self?

Now ask yourself this question: What is preventing you from having confidence in yourself?

What I would like you to do now is to write down everything that you think is preventing you from having that easily understood word "self-confidence" (it's important that you WRITE instead of type...I know, just chill).

Are you writing anything down? You better be. Yeah, that's right...you BETTAH BE.

Keep in mind that this can be a very time consuming thing. If you feel as if you aren't finished, then don't continue reading. This ain't school where you gotta write an essay in a given amount of time. This entry will be here for as long as you want it to...so take your time.

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Now that you have finished writing down everything that you could possibly think of, what I want you to do now is crumple it up and throw it away. Hell, you can even shred it up, or light it on fire. What I DON'T want you to do is use it as toilet paper because it's rather uncomfortable for your butthole.

Now that you've done SOMETHING to that piece of paper(s) that contains everything that you could think of that is preventing you from having self-confidence, I have another question that I want you to answer: What is the purpose of throwing away that paper(s)? I mean, you worked hard on it, right? Wouldn't you want to keep it?

The paper(s) that you just threw away symbolizes ALL the things that are preventing you from having self-confidence. So Brandon, how is that possible?

You forgot what self-confidence is. Self-confidence is dealing with the SELF. How you think about yourself is not determined by outside factors. It is completely internal. It doesn't matter what your grandmother says, your father says, your mother says, your brother, your sister. What it all comes down to is what YOU say about yourself.

Just because we don't all look like Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie doesn't mean that we can't be self-confident. You don't need a reason to be self-confident, because once you're committed to being self-confident, what people say or do won't matter.

There have been mothers in the world who grew up being sexually molested by people they knew, and/or random people. Some famous celebrities grew up in poverty or were even homeless. Do you know how they became good mothers, and successful celebrities?

They threw away those papers. They started thinking less about the things that didn't matter, and more about the things that did. You see, you think miracles can only happen to people who have potential. Sometimes, people do get lucky. But miracles happen everyday. A life is saved, a baby is born, and a person decides to not commit suicide.

So, the last question I have for you is...when you look into the mirror, would you rather see or would you rather see ?