Firstly, I'd like to say sorry that I haven't typed an entry in a long time (oopsy), but here's another entry that I just couldn't resist talking about.
Recently,
porcelainx27 on Xanga did an entry about porn, about...well, just how bad she thinks porn really is. Some of the stuff I actually agree with, but most of the stuff I do not. Here's why:
In her first point about why you should "say no to porn", she states:
I find it strange that a man/boy can think it's OK to be finding pleasure in another woman's body other than his partner/girlfriend/wife/fiance's.Since when was porn only a male thing? I have talked to a BUNCH of women who openly admitted that they look at porn. I asked them why they looked at porn, and they mostly said that it's because porn helps them stay abstinent. The truth is, when you're a teenager, male or female, your hormones will probably be RAGING. Some guys walk around the hallways in high school with tucked in boners, a lot of women think about sex but quickly change their thoughts. You can't avoid your hormones because the harder you resist, the more it builds up on you. The more it builds up on you, the more frequently you think about it, and the process starts all over again. Eventually, you're GOING to crack. How will you crack? That depends on how you were raised, your environment -- ultimately, your personality.
Not every personality is the same, which is why when we state our opinions, not everyone says "omgzzzz, I totally agree with you cuz thats SO TRUEE!!!!!!!!11". And that's why porcelainx27 got so many comments to begin with. No matter how many comments she gets, she'll always assume that porn, the people who do porn, the people who watch porn, the people who listen to porn, the people who think about porn, etc, are "disgusting".
If watching porn is not "OK" because you find pleasure In another man/woman's body other than his/her partners, then I guess we're ALL not "OK". What about the celebrities? What about the bands we enjoy listening to? I mean, after-all, we find pleasure in these things. But now it's not "OK" because we find more pleasure in it than we do with our partners. If I had a girlfriend, I will admit, I would rather listen to Metallica than listen to her singing Metallica. I guess that doesn't make me "OK".
Basically, when you watch porn...you're in another world. Your boyfriend doesn't care if you have a poster of Brad Pitt half nude on your wall, so why should you care what he looks or doesn't look at? You can look, but you can't touch as they say.
In her second point, she states:
It would disturb me to watch other people having sex. It disturbs me further that you are actually getting a kick out of watching other people have sex. Why not go dogging and just be a spectator ? Isn't that the same thing ? You don't like people watching you having sex do you ? :S Wouldn't most partners consider this cheating ? If so then what is the difference with porn ?Being a spectator can be a totally different experience if you're not used to it. If you're used to spectating, why don't you just join them? The truth is, some people watch porn because they CAN'T get laid, some people watch porn because they DON'T WANT TO get laid, and if you wanna get really sexual...many couples use sex-toys and porn to fire themselves up before having REAL sex. When people say that porn is only for people who CAN'T get laid, they aren't stating a FACT, but a matter of OPINION.
To me, porn is not much different than cigarettes. How can people get a kick out of smoking cigarettes when they know it's probably going to eventually kill them anyways? It's because we all have different ways of living, and it makes us feel good. It's in human nature to seek comfort, pleasure, and all the good things in life.If we lack it, then our body tells us that we need to do something about it. Kill ourselves, smoke pot...masturbate? It all depends on your personality, how bad you feel, the environment, etc.
Just because you watch a video of two people having sex doesn't make it cheating. Hello?! Michael Phelps fans? Heath Ledger fans? You think a lot of women admire Michael Phelps because he won many gold medals? You think a lot of women were affected by Heath Ledger's death because of his talent? No. They're attractive people, and women were fans even if they had a boyfriend. Maybe a guy watches porn while he has a girlfriend, but what if he watches porn to prevent himself from trying to USE his girlfriend for sex? He has to USE something, right? Would you rather be constantly asked by a guy to have sex with you, or would you rather him spend his personal time jerking off to "Big Butt Sluts 4" (as my sister would sometimes say)?
These women and men get PAID to have sex with each other for the camera. Therefore they are prostitues. Once again, why don't you hire a prostitute, either sleep with him/her or hire two and watch them sleep together ? Also, by buying their DVDs, you are technically paying a prostitute. Well done.Buying a prostitute is too risky. Not only is it risky because it's going against the government, it could be potentially harmful if they carry STDs. And also, porn stars get tested, and I'm sure that most of them don't live on the streets. As for prostitutes, they might live with pimps, and get treated badly. Porn stars and prostitutes are NOT the same thing.
Taking pleasure in watching others having sex is a fetish known as voyeurism. As with any other fetish (e.g., sadomasochism, or fetishes for particular races of person) it is a psychological abnormality. Case studies have shown that people with asian/black/latina fetishes often suffer from negative personality traits such as aggression and violent/abusive behavior surfacing from perhaps a disturbed childhood. Late cessation of bed-wetting was often also involved. Basically you're a fucking loser.Where is this case study? Maybe it could be a "psychological abnormality", but a fetish is a fetish. We ALL have them.
Porn has destroyed relationships, marriages and created dysfunctional children in the process. Statistics SHOW that it encourages rape, child molestation and other sexually associated crime. More than half of prison inmates have a porn addiction. What the fuck does this tell you ?I'll tell you what it tells you.You're screwed up in the head for supporting an industry that is destroying people's lives.Porn doesn't destroy people's lives -- people destroy people's lives. If you're addicted to porn, you have a problem. If you're addicted to anything, you have a problem. It's the same exact way with video games. Some people suggest that video games lead to violence. Well, what about actual movies? Songs? Or even Xanga entries? Porn isn't even half the issue, it's SOCIETY. It's the individual person. You are responsible for your own actions.
Do you think you're ever going to find a girlfriend/get REAL sex if all you do is whack off to porn ? You sad, sad, little man.If all you do is whack off to porn, then you have no time to find a girlfriend to have sex with. Yes, that's not right. But if you whack off to porn every once in a while, then you have plenty of time to find a girlfriend. A person who masturbates is a person who masturbates. A person who masturbates an excessive amount that affects the daily life, THAT is a person with a problem.
I don't want to hear your excuses for it being "pleasurable", "viewing of curiosity" or "all men do it". If this were true there would not be organizations of specifically MEN standing up against it.Stop stooping to such a level. You watching porn only tells me that you're a desperate little boy who's not getting it in real life, or a 14-yr-old computer geek who immerses himself in multiple alternate realities.Porn isn't real. The sexual acts performed in porn videos/clips/movies are things that normal people do not do.Why fantasize about something you'll never have ?What is the point in fantasy, if it is immoral, crude, indecent AND disgusting ?Stop being so fucked up.Like I said earlier, everyone has different opinions. Sure, some men stand up against porn, which is fine because everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but that doesn't mean porn is wrong. It depends on the person. Everyone has their own reasons for doing what they do. What if I told you that if you have sex with your boyfriend, you're a whore? You're desperate? Just because I said it doesn't make it true. You probably wouldn't care, maybe even laugh, or hunt me down and try and kill me, but we all have different ways of living. Just because you think it's wrong, doesn't exactly make it wrong. Just because I think you're wrong, doesn't make me right. It's all in different people's perspectives, and there's nothing that you can say or do that can change that.
Comments (17)
I say YES to porn, since it doesn't do anything, like you said, YOU are responsible for your own actions. Seeing an old Tracy Lord video doesn't mean you are a deranged addict hell bent on ruining someone's life.
@possums_rock@xanga - Exactly. People need to stop blaming others and start blaming themselves. Take responsibility. Thanks for the comment.
I love your responses; very thought out and realistic.
LMAO. I love this post. Good comebacks. I agree with your perspective more than porcelainx27's. I like to watch porn, because I find it interesting and sometimes funny to watch. Sometimes it's just damn good entertainment. I've had sleepover nights with friends in the past, where we sit in front of my big screen with a shitload of beer and chicken wings, and laugh and critique porn, just for the hell of it. That doesn't make me disgusting. Hahaha. Like many couples, I like to watch porn with my fiance, for fun and also before sex. Is it so horrible to get kinky ideas to pleasure someone I love? I think not. Saying that, is like saying sex is wrong altogether, and that, my friend, is a serious dilusion. Show me one person, who after losing their virginity, never wanted to have sex again (unless they were raped, or some other unjust cause), and I'll be glad to slap them a few times, strap them in front of a tv set, look at a few lesbians, and ask them if they're not turned on. They'd have to be some kind of mutation unknown in this universe. Sex is a general part of life, and enjoying it can be taken in many forms. Not understanding the preferences of others, is ignorant. It's like cooking. Everyone loves food, but not everyone loves to eat the same foods. Some people enjoy watching cooking, because they like to get hungry. People watch porn to get horny. End of story. LOL.
Props. Good arguements. Apparently she took down her post... must have realized how ridiculous it was.
@TheSpaceBass@xanga - I agree. Great response.
@TheSpaceBass@xanga - Thanks. I just figured I'd have my say on that entry because it was completely ridiculous. :\
@chennah_maureen@xanga - Exactly! You brought a very interesting point. Not everyone likes the same food! Not everyone enjoys porn! Some people just don't see how you can enjoy drinking "acid" (Pepsi, Coke, etc) when you could be drinking purified water. We enjoy it, and nothing else matters.
@JustMe003@xanga - I understand why she took down her post. Her entry was too extreme, people took it the wrong way (which I don't blame), and she couldn't handle the negative comments.
@Imfromlalaland@xanga - Thanks :P
i concur your entry makes me feel better. I havent read anything interesting since.... stilladick was around -_-
WOW. ok, first of all there are studies showing that porn can have detrimental affects for women but uh... that depends on what type of porn,and also the person's background. and its not like there aren't plenty of tv shows that show women suddenly becoming ok with being pressured into sex, etc. i am a woman and i watch porn. however, the type of porn that i watch is usually feminist porn (yes there is such a thing lol) or amature stuff because i just like seeing people in more of a relationship status than just random and i also just see the porn girls as fake. and, behind every woman making money from porn there is a man at the head of the industry making TONS more on her exploitation. this just means the system is screwed like most systems in the US. i do have mixed feelings about porn, but i do not believe that it is the same as cheating. that's ridiculous. my boyfriend watches porn while i am there and we enjoy it together, and usually end up enjoying ourselves. and i know he watches it when i am not there, and i just don't care! i don't like watching porn where women are raped, but there are some bdsm where the women are consenting to what is happening, and it is called role-playing- there is a difference in the tone and mood.
ok, that was way too long, as per usual.
oh and there is pllleeenty of stuff i've seen in porn that my boyfriend and ihave done... so that comment about it not ever happening, well, thats a lie...
@iTzBinhBONG@xanga - Thanks =D
@AgirlCalledBill@xanga - Wow, you DO have mixed feelings because I can't even tell if you're for or against porn. I see your point of view though, and I'm glad that you and your boyfriend have a good sexual relationship.
There's really a shitload types of porn out there, so I don't doubt that the porn industry has something that you enjoy. It's probably true that males make more money in porn than females do, but if you're stating that as a simularity between prostitutes and porn stars, I don't really think that's a good one =S (not to sound cruel or anything, I'm really not trying to be mean).
Gotta get in the mood for sex somehow, right? Otherwise, it'll just be an emotionless "let's get this over with" session.
haha well i dont really do the whole "for" or "against" anything. porn doesn't bother me. and i dont think porn stars are the same as prostitutes- although i think prostitution should be legalized, like porn should be, so it can be more regulated and prostitutes can have RIGHTS. which is why i guess i am more "for" porn. i believe people should have the right to do whatever they want. i do believe people should be educated about what they are seeing. i only get bothered when women in films say "no" and then they are coerced into saying "yes". which happens in normal films, too. all that does is fuel the myth that "no might mean yes". i dont think men that watch porn are bad, at all. as i said before, i will watch porn too. i just prefer to see porn where there are real couples :) but that is just a personal preference. i believe porn should be legal and allowed to those that can enjoy it responsibly. like beer! haha
Well, I'll say one thing. At least porn isn't as taboo as it used to be, thankfully. It's just a hobby, to pass time. Girls do it, boys to it, and anything in between do it as well. XD
YES! I totally agree with all of your "rebuttals" and think each one of your responses is totally founded and almost all of her opinions are either simply that, opinions stated as facts, or otherwise simply unfounded. I say yes to porn and to your argument, and guess what? I'm a girl, too!
@chennah_maureen@xanga - I love that you compared watching porn to cooking. That was great, I'm going to have to remember those lines!
@SomeRandomDude - A couple weeks ago I wrote an entry on this, very similar to yours. Basically trying to figure out why watching pornography is "so taboo." I think you did a really great job of arguing against her points though. If you're curious as to what I said, here is a link to my post: http://weblog.xanga.com/goodgirl_196/674676765/lets-make-love-all-night-long-until-all-our-strength-is-gone.html
As always, I am a fan of insightful posts. I rec'd because I can agree with every statement you've made here. I shall now pop over to her site to see the opposing side, as it were. The questions and statements you've cropped here seem very one sided and opinionated. A bit preachy and condescending. I shall now view them in context.
Great post!
@Rosewulf - Nevermind, there's a friends lock.
Nice post mate! Rally insightful. Cheers