SomeRandomDude's Datingish

No More Mr. Nice Guy

Tue, 21 Oct 2008 18:48:10 GMT

For two years since I've had my last girlfriend, those years were what I considered a "break". I had too many girls on me at once, and they always ended up breaking my heart simply because I was "too shy" and "too nice". After that "break", I started coming into actualization that I was no longer being pursued by females, and I was just as heartbroken as I was when I actually HAD girlfriends. As time went on, I started asking myself questions, reading books, having conversations, and just ANYTHING that could've helped me get my love life back. Eventually, I found that I was classified as a "Nice Guy"² based on obvious observations that weren't so obvious back then.

After I found this discovery, I learned over the years that everyone has their own opinion when it comes to society's views on the typical "Nice guy/girl". Because of this, this very topic, thousands (and possibly millions) of people have been growing hatred towards their same/opposite sex because they simply don't understand why things are the way they are. Genders clash together by throwing insults left and right, pointing out eachother's flaws, and/or just anything that will help them get their points across.

I was fortunate enough to not be part of the battle. After I started coming into actualization that I was not getting the ladies, I spent most of my time researching solutions instead of complaining. After four years of research, I believe I have found...not "a" book, but "THE" book. It's called "No More Mr. Nice Guy" by Dr. Robert A. Glover. Because you've probably never even read this book, let alone HEARD of it, I will discuss the important things that I have learned and understood that came directly from the book.

Because of experiments, Psychology tells us that our personalities are determined by our physical/mental environments and our genetics growing up as children. The most important years of parenting are the years when the child is still young because it is, for the most part, the only time when you can shape their personalities.

For the most part, I was raised by my mother. Although my mom was a good supportive mother, there is one thing that even the best mother can't teach her son -- how to be a man. Because of this, a lot of males grow up...basically being taught how to be a woman -- supportive, caring, emotional, trustworthy, etc. Basically, he grows up learning from his mother how to take care of people and the things around him, but he doesn't learn how to take care of himself as a man. He has no defense mechanism, he does all he can, and he believes that if he does "good" things for people, people will do good things for him.

The problem with all that is that he grows up doing "good" things for people EXPECTING to get "good" things in return, but when he doesn't get what he "deserves", ANYTHING could happen -- he could become violent, he could turn gay, he can turn into a "jerk", etc.

For the most part, "Nice Guys" believe that they are decent people. Being nice is a very good quality to have, but being a "Nice Guy" is actually WORSE than most (if not all) "Nice Guys" think they are:

- They are "manipulative"
- They are "controlling"
- They "give to get"
- They are "passive-aggressive" (meaning they "express their frustration and resentment in indirect, roundabout, and not so nice ways")
- They are "full of rage"
- They are "addictive" (since they keep their feelings bottled up inside, it has to leave somehow, right? So they develop addictions, such as "sexual compulsiveness")

The list goes on.

Now I'm not trying to make "Nice Guys" feel bad because I'd be...kind of shooting myself in the foot, but what I'm saying is that women aren't attracted to that kind of stuff, which could be part of the reason why you're still single, which could be the reason why you have ineffective relationships, etc.

This brings us to the fundamental question "why do women date assholes?" The reason why women date "assholes" isn't because they're attracted to mental/physical pain, it's because "assholes" possess qualities that are closest to a man:

- He "has a strong sense of self"
- "takes responsibility for getting his own needs met"
- "is comfortable with his masculinity and his sexuality"
- "has" a sense of "integrity"
- "is a leader"
- "is clear, direct, and expressive of his feelings"

and the list goes on again.

What I'm saying is that women date men for a specific purpose, that they have qualities of a man. If you're a "Nice Guy" out there and your life is like Bill Murray's life in the movie Groundhog Day, you need to do something completely different instead of doing the same thing everyday. Because of this, you will produce different results. That's why I highly recommend "No More Mr. Nice Guy" by Dr. Robert A. Glover.

Now...I'm not saying that you need to become an "asshole"/"jerk", what I'm saying is that becoming a man is the line that divides "jerk" and "Nice Guy". Once you start taking steps to become a man, or better yet...a DIFFERENT yet more effective man, you will come to the actualization that you could of finished first¹ a long time ago.

Women, you should read the book also because there's not a whole lot of differences. You also need to be comfortable with yourself, confident, etc. After all, most guys actually like girls who play hard to get.

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¹ There's a common saying that "nice guys finish last"
² Almost all the quotes in this entry are direct quotes from the book "No More Mr. Nice Guy" by Dr. Robert A. Glover

Say no/yes to porn!

Sun, 05 Oct 2008 03:01:03 GMT

Firstly, I'd like to say sorry that I haven't typed an entry in a long time (oopsy), but here's another entry that I just couldn't resist talking about.

Recently, porcelainx27 on Xanga did an entry about porn, about...well, just how bad she thinks porn really is. Some of the stuff I actually agree with, but most of the stuff I do not. Here's why:

In her first point about why you should "say no to porn", she states:

I find it strange that a man/boy can think it's OK to be finding pleasure in another woman's body other than his partner/girlfriend/wife/fiance's.

Since when was porn only a male thing? I have talked to a BUNCH of women who openly admitted that they look at porn. I asked them why they looked at porn, and they mostly said that it's because porn helps them stay abstinent. The truth is, when you're a teenager, male or female, your hormones will probably be RAGING. Some guys walk around the hallways in high school with tucked in boners, a lot of women think about sex but quickly change their thoughts. You can't avoid your hormones because the harder you resist, the more it builds up on you. The more it builds up on you, the more frequently you think about it, and the process starts all over again. Eventually, you're GOING to crack. How will you crack? That depends on how you were raised, your environment -- ultimately, your personality.

Not every personality is the same, which is why when we state our opinions, not everyone says "omgzzzz, I totally agree with you cuz thats SO TRUEE!!!!!!!!11". And that's why porcelainx27 got so many comments to begin with. No matter how many comments she gets, she'll always assume that porn, the people who do porn, the people who watch porn, the people who listen to porn, the people who think about porn, etc, are "disgusting".

If watching porn is not "OK" because you find pleasure In another man/woman's body other than his/her partners, then I guess we're ALL not "OK". What about the celebrities? What about the bands we enjoy listening to? I mean, after-all, we find pleasure in these things. But now it's not "OK" because we find more pleasure in it than we do with our partners. If I had a girlfriend, I will admit, I would rather listen to Metallica than listen to her singing Metallica. I guess that doesn't make me "OK".

Basically, when you watch porn...you're in another world. Your boyfriend doesn't care if you have a poster of Brad Pitt half nude on your wall, so why should you care what he looks or doesn't look at? You can look, but you can't touch as they say.

In her second point, she states:

It would disturb me to watch other people having sex. It disturbs me further that you are actually getting a kick out of watching other people have sex. Why not go dogging and just be a spectator ? Isn't that the same thing ? You don't like people watching you having sex do you ? :S Wouldn't most partners consider this cheating ? If so then what is the difference with porn ?

Being a spectator can be a totally different experience if you're not used to it. If you're used to spectating, why don't you just join them? The truth is, some people watch porn because they CAN'T get laid, some people watch porn because they DON'T WANT TO get laid, and if you wanna get really sexual...many couples use sex-toys and porn to fire themselves up before having REAL sex. When people say that porn is only for people who CAN'T get laid, they aren't stating a FACT, but a matter of OPINION.

To me, porn is not much different than cigarettes. How can people get a kick out of smoking cigarettes when they know it's probably going to eventually kill them anyways? It's because we all have different ways of living, and it makes us feel good. It's in human nature to seek comfort, pleasure, and all the good things in life.If we lack it, then our body tells us that we need to do something about it. Kill ourselves, smoke pot...masturbate? It all depends on your personality, how bad you feel, the environment, etc.

Just because you watch a video of two people having sex doesn't make it cheating. Hello?! Michael Phelps fans? Heath Ledger fans? You think a lot of women admire Michael Phelps because he won many gold medals? You think a lot of women were affected by Heath Ledger's death because of his talent? No. They're attractive people, and women were fans even if they had a boyfriend. Maybe a guy watches porn while he has a girlfriend, but what if he watches porn to prevent himself from trying to USE his girlfriend for sex? He has to USE something, right? Would you rather be constantly asked by a guy to have sex with you, or would you rather him spend his personal time jerking off to "Big Butt Sluts 4" (as my sister would sometimes say)?

These women and men get PAID to have sex with each other for the camera. Therefore they are prostitues. Once again, why don't you hire a prostitute, either sleep with him/her or hire two and watch them sleep together ? Also, by buying their DVDs, you are technically paying a prostitute. Well done.

Buying a prostitute is too risky. Not only is it risky because it's going against the government, it could be potentially harmful if they carry STDs. And also, porn stars get tested, and I'm sure that most of them don't live on the streets. As for prostitutes, they might live with pimps, and get treated badly. Porn stars and prostitutes are NOT the same thing.

Taking pleasure in watching others having sex is a fetish known as voyeurism. As with any other fetish (e.g., sadomasochism, or fetishes for particular races of person) it is a psychological abnormality. Case studies have shown that people with asian/black/latina fetishes often suffer from negative personality traits such as aggression and violent/abusive behavior surfacing from perhaps a disturbed childhood. Late cessation of bed-wetting was often also involved. Basically you're a fucking loser.

Where is this case study? Maybe it could be a "psychological abnormality", but a fetish is a fetish. We ALL have them.

Porn has destroyed relationships, marriages and created dysfunctional children in the process. Statistics SHOW that it encourages rape, child molestation and other sexually associated crime. More than half of prison inmates have a porn addiction. What the fuck does this tell you ?
I'll tell you what it tells you.
You're screwed up in the head for supporting an industry that is destroying people's lives.

Porn doesn't destroy people's lives -- people destroy people's lives. If you're addicted to porn, you have a problem. If you're addicted to anything, you have a problem. It's the same exact way with video games. Some people suggest that video games lead to violence. Well, what about actual movies? Songs? Or even Xanga entries? Porn isn't even half the issue, it's SOCIETY. It's the individual person. You are responsible for your own actions.

Do you think you're ever going to find a girlfriend/get REAL sex if all you do is whack off to porn ? You sad, sad, little man.

If all you do is whack off to porn, then you have no time to find a girlfriend to have sex with. Yes, that's not right. But if you whack off to porn every once in a while, then you have plenty of time to find a girlfriend. A person who masturbates is a person who masturbates. A person who masturbates an excessive amount that affects the daily life, THAT is a person with a problem.

I don't want to hear your excuses for it being "pleasurable", "viewing of curiosity" or "all men do it". If this were true there would not be organizations of specifically MEN standing up against it.
Stop stooping to such a level. You watching porn only tells me that you're a desperate little boy who's not getting it in real life, or a 14-yr-old computer geek who immerses himself in multiple alternate realities.
Porn isn't real. The sexual acts performed in porn videos/clips/movies are things that normal people do not do.
Why fantasize about something you'll never have ?
What is the point in fantasy, if it is immoral, crude, indecent AND disgusting ?
Stop being so fucked up.

Like I said earlier, everyone has different opinions. Sure, some men stand up against porn, which is fine because everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but that doesn't mean porn is wrong. It depends on the person. Everyone has their own reasons for doing what they do. What if I told you that if you have sex with your boyfriend, you're a whore? You're desperate? Just because I said it doesn't make it true. You probably wouldn't care, maybe even laugh, or hunt me down and try and kill me, but we all have different ways of living. Just because you think it's wrong, doesn't exactly make it wrong. Just because I think you're wrong, doesn't make me right. It's all in different people's perspectives, and there's nothing that you can say or do that can change that.

Expert Advice on Porn/Masturbation

Tue, 16 Sep 2008 20:54:48 GMT

**** I would like to thank hopelessromantic for indirectly giving me the idea to talk about porn/masturbation because of her entry"

"Okay, I'm going".

What all does that statement mean? It could mean that the person is going to the bathroom, it could mean that the person is going to the store, or it could mean something entirely different. To me, sometimes it means I have the house all to myself, which means that I can do ANYTHING I want without having the fear of being caught.

When I hear that statement coming from the only person left in the house besides myself, I get excited (for the most part). I love to be around people, but I also enjoy being alone because I'm a completely different person. I turn up the music, I start singing to music. Some of the music I sing to are songs that people don't think I listen to -- Truly, Madly, Deeply by Savage Garden, A Whole New World (Aladdin theme song), and Incomplete by Backstreet Boys. The regular songs that people do think I listen to include Nothing Else Matters by Metallica, Mama Said by Metallica, It's Been a While by Staind, etc.

And then...the unthinkable happens. I find myself not listening to anything, and my mind begins to wander. I try to stop the sexual thoughts, but they keep multiplying in my head. My hands start being concentrated on a certain area, and then I find myself undoing my belt. At this point, I'm trying stop and move onto something else, but my mind keeps telling me "you've been stressed...why don't you relax". I give in. I can't resist any longer!

Y' see, at this point, a lot of guys (and possibly girls) go directly into the masturbation. They take their pants off, they might get that sex toy prepared, find a good porn video to watch or just some kind of stimulation to help out, but not me.

I've been masturbating since I was ten years old. I was engaging in sexual activities with a family member since I was six years old (it didn't a long time so don't worry). The surprising thing to say is that many people start young, or even YOUNGER than ten years old. Of my years of great masturbation, I was caught MANY MANY times by different family members (my sister being the main one). The one time I completely remember getting caught was when I was masturbating to porn at 4 in the morning and I fell asleep with porn opened, my pants down, my hand on my joystick. My mom was PISSED!

Anyways, I've learned a lot. You remember when I said in my last entry that "experience is the father of wisdom"? Well, it does. Over the years, I graduated from watching 30-second clips, to 50-minute clips! Over the years, I developed a procedure that dramatically decreases my chances of getting caught, and I would like to share them with you:

Step 1: Just like car procedures, you need to check your surroundings before entering the car. Is there someone in the house that I didn't think was? Are there any cars (except mine if you have a car) in the driveway? Is there anybody pulling up the driveway? Is there any evidence that will tell me an approximate time someone will be home? If you're absolutely sure you're home alone, then continue to step 2.

Step 2: If you can, lock your door -- at least close it. I must warn you though, if your parents are used to you locking the door, that's fine. But if you lock the door and you never locked the door before, they might be kind of suspicious. Not only will someone have to open the door to see what you're doing, but the sound coming from your speakers may also be muffled (if you decide to watch porn with the volume on) and they might not be able to hear it. Now if you're a girl and you lie on your bed, your voice may be minimized and (maybe if you use one) the sex toy will be hard to hear (if it vibrates of course).

Step 3: Step 3 varies between gender. For guys, all you really need a paper towel, some toilet paper, or whatever. For girls, could be NOTHING to a towel. It's better that you get ready NOW because if you just splooge yourself and someone walks in the house, you'll probably panic and rush to the bathroom. The point is that you want to make as little to no noise, and be as QUICK as possible.

Step 4: Find something that could help you cover up in case of emergency. It's sick to say, but I keep my boxers down at my ankles so I can just pull them up when I need to. If you wanna go full out naked, be sure that you'll have a back-up plan. When someone enters the house, you may have little to no time (or you could have a lot). If you plan your back-up plan beforehand, you won't have to make quick decisions, and you'll quietly, quickly, and efficitely cover up. Also, if someone asks what you are doing, make sure you have something to say about that.

Step 5: Find a good porn video. According to statistics , for every NORMAL website, there are 5 porn websites. It's really not that hard to find them. Step 5a: I will not tell you how you masturbate because only you can do that. So, begin. Step 5b. When masturbating, be prepared to take action if something goes wrong, but at the same time...ENJOY YOURSELF.

Step 6: After you finish, do whatever it takes to clean up. That includes getting rid of the evidence of porn. On Firefox, it couldn't be much simplier: Tools, Clear Private Data, and be sure to check "Browing History", "Saved Cache Form and Search History", Cache, Cookies. That's the very basic stuff, but assuming that your family members are not computer geniuses, you won't have to worry about getting caught with porn. If you're stupid enough to actually download porn, I suggest you create a file that sounds boring. "Untitled" is just asking for someone to click on that, but if you do something like "DellTech.net" I don't know, then they won't want to check that out. Also, make sub-folders if your family members have a habit of clicking on everything quickly. Do NOT make it a hidden file. Hidden files are very easy to find. So, I suggest you stick to porn on the internet. You run the risk of getting a virus, but it's easier to access, and harder for people to find the evidence.

With that being said, you should be fine with my advice. Everyone has a different way of dealing with things, so if you don't want to take my steps, you don't have to. But it's safe, and that's the most important thing.

Here's some things to take into consideration:

1. Ladies and gentlemen, if you have a sex picture/video on your computer, that doesn't mean it's safe. People can access your computer, and once they have that picture/video, they could post it all over the internet. Amateur porn videos get popular real quick. This includes MSN video chat, because there are programs that can record what's on the screen.

2. Even though you may be in the mood, if you choose to cyber sex with someone, make sure you know enough about the person. I made the mistake of cybering with "two blond chicks" 4-5 years ago, and they were my sister and cousin.

3. Sex toys are for anybody. Male or female. Just because you own one doesn't make you "pathetic", "desperate", a "whore", etc. Although it's best to keep it on the down-low and only tell people whom you trust because people will believe anything. Masturbation is also not "pathetic", "desperate", or it makes you a "whore". 80% of males have masturbated before the age of 18 (which I think is actually more than that), and 56% of women have masturbated before the age of 18.

4. Masturbation is healthy for you, and it does make you happy. =P

5. Anything that's done excessively is bad for you, but for the most part...a lot of scientists suggest that masturbation can prevent prostate cancer. There's really nothing bad about masturbation unless done excessively (the only problems you'll get are phsychological problems). For girls, I don't know if there's such thing as excessive.

Experience

Mon, 15 Sep 2008 22:15:33 GMT

Last night, I had an argument with my grandmother. It all started when she started complaining about every thing she can come up with -- how I don't do work around the house after I get off work, how I didn't go into college (even though I'll eventually go to college after I get out of the air force), etc. Eventually, her complaining started to get annoying and I marched into the kitchen and I asked her "why don't you write a book about all your problems"?

I would say that I have anger problems, but which guy doesn't have anger problems? It's all about that testosterone, baby.

After I got off work, I was sitting in my room for about thirty minutes or so and she said that my grandfather is working in the backyard. Instead of helping him out, even though I should of, I went back to my work to talk to my boss about my doctor's appointment on the 17th and to check out my schedule. Well, my boss wasn't there, but I found out that I was "OFF" on the 17th and that I work tomorrow from 7 AM to 3 PM (which is the normal time). I came back and I started helping out my grandfather.

About halfway through helping out my grandfather pick up plants and such to put them in trashcans, I came across a bee that was just chillin on the concrete floor. I thought to myself that maybe the bee lost it's ability to fly. So what did I do? I poked it with a stick. It was still alive, but it wasn't moving around much. So what did I do? I got a bigger stick and crushed it's middle torso against the concrete floor. It then latched onto the stick and traveled towards my hand, but with my amazing reflexes, I shook the stick and it fell back down again.

This time, it didn't move. So what did I do? I stabbed it again, and had it's whole body stuck against the concrete floor. I then grabbed another stick and crushed his stinger. After I thought it was dead, it started charging at me, all weird shaped and in pain. So what did I do? I stabbed it again. This time, I pinned it to the ground, took another stick, and started squishing it's head. After a couple seconds of toying around, I removed the sticks and watched it shake. That thing amazingly was still alive, but it was in horrible condition.

Then my attitude changed.

Y' see, originally I was stabbing the bee to put it IN misery, but now that I was watching it slowly die, I started stabbing it to quickly put him OUT of misery. Why did my attitude change? Why was I making this bee suffer excrutiating pain when it already couldn't fly?

It's because the bee resembled pain -- not JUST physical pain, but mental pain. I took out all my anger towards this bee, when I simply could of left it alone. It would of lived another day, but it would of went back it's family and be like "yo, my wings broke but this kid let me LIVE yo...respect!"

Why did my intentions for killing the bee change over a short period of time?

I think this is where a lot of us can relate. The bee resembles us, the pain we went through or are going through, how we're trying to live, but we keep getting knocked down that stick and we hit rock bottom again. When I saw that bee in pain, I started thinking about all the pain I went through, how I never thought I'd live to be 18 years old because I was always comtemplating suicide or miserably failing at an attempt to commit suicide (I tried to commit suicide once by drowning myself...I stopped because I couldn't breathe).

Because of my experiences being in physical or mental pain, I've learned how to cry even when it wasn't necessary. For instance: When I was with my best friend in Texas, we went to Petsmart and there was a window where you could see the animals that were up for adoption. A kitten was close to the window, and it went on it's hind-legs and tried to touch it's paws with my hand. I secretly got teary-eyed because I wanted to take that kitten with me because I knew what it was like to outstretch my hands for someone to comfort me, to make me feel like everything was going to be okay, and getting nothing but emptiness. The kitten rubbed up against the glass, and for a minute...we made eye contact. It meowed, and I sympathesized with it. As David said "let's go", I said "I'm sorry" to the kitten, and as I walked away, the kitten took its paws off the glass.

Another time is when I moved in with my dad. Eventually, one of my mom's dogs got in bad enough condition where she had to be put to sleep. I walked out of that dog's life and she died. I wasn't there for her, and there's not a day in my life where I don't regret all the things that have happened.

But I believe that what doesn't kill us makes a stronger. "Experience is the father of wisdom". We go through tough times -- not because we deserve it, but to help us learn. To build our character. To teach us how to open our eyes and appreciate what we have rather than complaining about what we don't. To let us have something to talk about when the question is asked. To help us grow.

Back then, I thought I wasn't going to live to be 18 years old because I didn't think there was hope in my life. I thought I was just destined to die young. But I gave life a chance, I started looking through the eyes of the kitten and the bee, and I realized that I am capable of change. I am not in the worst condition, and there's always still hope.

Always.

Houston, we have a problem

Sat, 13 Sep 2008 19:42:13 GMT

Yesterday, I was having real trouble trying to find out what to type about in my next entry.

After all, what could a guy like me, an 18-year-old who hasn't had a relationship in over six years, possibly type about? I consulted with a friend on AIM and came to the conclusion that I had absolutely NOTHING to type about. I mean, it's not like I could talk about relationships, sex, or any of the things that I've never had before or in a long time, so what could I type about?

Before I went to bed, I was thinking long and hard about what to type about. Ironically, after I stopped thinking about it, a great idea hit me. Why don't I talk about self-confidence? After all, I feel pretty self-confident in myself, and SOME people said they actually envied my self-confidence. So, that's exactly what I decided to type about in my next entry.

So ask yourself this question: What is self-confidence?

You might be thinking "self confidence is having confidence in yourself...DUH! What a stupid question, Brandon. I outta slap you across the face with a wet fish". Well, if it's such an easy question...then why do people have a problem applying it to their own lives? Why can't everyone have confidence in their own self?

Now ask yourself this question: What is preventing you from having confidence in yourself?

What I would like you to do now is to write down everything that you think is preventing you from having that easily understood word "self-confidence" (it's important that you WRITE instead of type...I know, just chill).

Are you writing anything down? You better be. Yeah, that's right...you BETTAH BE.

Keep in mind that this can be a very time consuming thing. If you feel as if you aren't finished, then don't continue reading. This ain't school where you gotta write an essay in a given amount of time. This entry will be here for as long as you want it to...so take your time.

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Now that you have finished writing down everything that you could possibly think of, what I want you to do now is crumple it up and throw it away. Hell, you can even shred it up, or light it on fire. What I DON'T want you to do is use it as toilet paper because it's rather uncomfortable for your butthole.

Now that you've done SOMETHING to that piece of paper(s) that contains everything that you could think of that is preventing you from having self-confidence, I have another question that I want you to answer: What is the purpose of throwing away that paper(s)? I mean, you worked hard on it, right? Wouldn't you want to keep it?

The paper(s) that you just threw away symbolizes ALL the things that are preventing you from having self-confidence. So Brandon, how is that possible?

You forgot what self-confidence is. Self-confidence is dealing with the SELF. How you think about yourself is not determined by outside factors. It is completely internal. It doesn't matter what your grandmother says, your father says, your mother says, your brother, your sister. What it all comes down to is what YOU say about yourself.

Just because we don't all look like Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie doesn't mean that we can't be self-confident. You don't need a reason to be self-confident, because once you're committed to being self-confident, what people say or do won't matter.

There have been mothers in the world who grew up being sexually molested by people they knew, and/or random people. Some famous celebrities grew up in poverty or were even homeless. Do you know how they became good mothers, and successful celebrities?

They threw away those papers. They started thinking less about the things that didn't matter, and more about the things that did. You see, you think miracles can only happen to people who have potential. Sometimes, people do get lucky. But miracles happen everyday. A life is saved, a baby is born, and a person decides to not commit suicide.

So, the last question I have for you is...when you look into the mirror, would you rather see or would you rather see ?

Thank you!!!!

Fri, 12 Sep 2008 02:27:17 GMT

Here's a little video I did for you all to show my appreciation ;) Hope you enjoy.

"Guys are assholes"...stfu kthnx

Sun, 07 Sep 2008 21:40:54 GMT

"All guys want sex", "all the nice guys are either gay or taken", "I'm never going out with guys again", "I'm turning lesbian because I'm just sick of guys", "where are the nice guys?", "I attract the wrong kind of guys", "all guys do is want me for sex", "guys are stupid", "guys are so hard to understand". Blah blah blah blah blah.

The first question that seems to be on many women's mind is "Do all guys think about sex?"

Yes, does that mean it makes them use girls for only sex? Absolutely not.
Does that mean there are guys out there who wouldn't use you for sex? Absolutely
Are men capable of real relationships? Yes

What everything comes down to is YES, all men think about sex. Statistics say that the average man thinks about sex 70% of his day. That's a lot of sexual images, isn't it? What if I told you that statistics also said that the average woman thinks about sex 40% of the day? It's a 30% difference, but does that not make it a lot? Does that not justify that everyone thinks about sex? Clearly, the average person, no matter what gender, thinks about sex everyday. Well damn Brandon, I thought that males think about sex all the time!

No. (Buzzer sound) you are incorrect. We're all human beings, we all want sex to some degree. So, what's the big deal? Well, no one wants to blame their problems on themselves. They don't take responsibility and point the finger at someone else to make them feel better.

So, this woman (let's call her Dumbass), started going out with this guy. Oh, she really liked this dude -- he was really attractive, had a nice body, loved to party, etc. She started to realize that he was more of an asshole than she thought...a real jerk, who only wanted her body. I mean, she liked this guy since she first layed eyes on him! How could she not see what he really was like?

Oh yeah, she could of gotten to know him more...y' know, like be friends? Start out slow? Travel to different places that would have less drunks, meet new guys, find out who's legit and who's not? But nah, friendship...come on, the dude looked good, that's all that matters. If he doesn't look good, then what kind of person is he? Non-physically attractive people have no personalities.

Women, have you ever asked yourself the question "where are the nice guys"? From now on, think about how many friends you have that are males. Let's see...there's my best friend, who I talk about everything with, he's always there for me, etc. Wait! Stop right there. Now ask yourself that same question again.

My point is that they're all around. I'm not going to say "nice guys finish last", I don't want you to feel bad for the nice guys out there, but I want to teach you how to answer your own questions. My point is that you're wrong. Your beliefs are wrong, and there's nothing that I can do to change them. Some women will always believe that they won't ever be satisfied with what they have. It used to be that size was an issue. If men in porn can satisfy a woman with a 12 inch dong, then that must be true in reality. So, let's try it. "Ow ow ow ow ow ow ouch...I can't do this". She's got his penis half-way in her vagina and she's already complaining. Of course, if she needed a 12 inch dong, her vagina must be really loose.

Now it's about true relationships. Men supposedly have a hard time being committed to a relationship because I guess they're incapable of feeling other emotions. All the feeling goes to his cock. He'll love you with one blowjob a day.

With that being said, guys are simple. If a guy is anything other than simple, then something must of happened in his past that made him complex.

Basically, there are two main types of guys in the world:

Guys who want sex and nothing but sex, and guys who want sex and want more than sex.

If the guys you are dating only want you for sex, then you're looking for the wrong type. Stop complaining, stop making the wrong kind of guys look bad, and just move on. There's no point in being a bitch about it. If all you're going to do is complain about how bad guys are, then go lesbian. Lesbians have drama too, y' know. You can't avoid problems.

EDIT 3:59 PM

This day has been great for me. This entry has been the first ever entry that's ever gotten featured. I really appreciate everyone's comments, recommendations, stars, and just stopping by to read my entry. If it weren't for you, I wouldn't have made it to the featured list. I owe you everything!!

EDIT 9:00 PM

I'm beginning to get some negative comments, so here's a couple things that I have to say:

• I am not intending for this entry to be sexist. I'm not sexist, nor am I trying to be. I love women. I have heard many times about women complaining about how guys are pigs that only want sex. That's an over-generalization that I'm just not going to keep my mouth shut to.
• I understand that my entry was in a male's point of view (no shit, right?), so I'm not trying point the finger at females and say that they're a problem. In fact, I strongly encourage someone to type about this in a woman's perspective...and I will happily add the link to this very entry because I fully respect both genders.
• I am NOT bashing on women. People make bad choices, people make good choices, and this entry is supposed to be helpful to make less bad choices and more good choices in relationships.

So, I am not sexist. I don't want people who comment to bash the other genders either. This is all a common issue that people want to understand and know about. This entry isn't for my benefit, it's for those who need this kind of perspective. Male or female. I'm not promoting anything other than making good decisions when going into relationships.

So, I sincerely apologize to the women who believe that I was directing this entry to ALL women. I'm just directing this entry to the women who ARE like this and want to see things differently.

Edit 11:53 PM

This is my last edit, I promise. I just realized that there's a shit load of comments that I haven't replied to and I really apologize for the people I haven't responded to yet. I would respond to all of them, but that's like...a shit load. So if I don't come across to responding to your comment, I apologize. Like I said earlier, I really appreciate what you all have done. I've been part of the Xanga community for three years pretty much, and never ever came CLOSE to having an entry featured. It's a great feeling and I appreciate all the support. Because of this, it's kind of like...a dream come true (I know, it's pathetic but hey...I'm not the only one I suppose). So if I never respond to your entry, just know that I really appreciate your comment/support.

Edit 8:33 PM 9/11/08

Ah screw it. Promises are meant to be broken anyways! Well, two people have typed up stuff like this entry, so I think you should check em' out. Here's the links:

http://weblog.xanga.com/IsisMari/673990588/girls-are-bitches.html

http://weblog.xanga.com/Dial_A_Prayer/674027275/what-i-love-about-guys-5-in-5.html

Battle of The Sexes

Wed, 03 Sep 2008 07:51:44 GMT

Announcer 1: Hello, if you've just joined us, you're in on some exciting action. John, can you tell us what's going on?
Announcer 2: Well Bill, there's currently a mature argument going on between a male and female discussing about gender differences.
Announcer 1: I'll tell you John, when you bring a man and woman together to argue about which gender does the most damage, things are only going to get worse.
Announcer 2: And that's exactly what's going to happen, Bill. There seems to be no agreement between the two because there seems to be some yelling action going on.
Announcer 1: You know Bill, there's been a lot of conflicts that have been occurring between men and women, that I just don't believe that those conflicts are EVER going to be settled. It doesn't matter if you have the best psychologists on your side, people believe what they want to believe...and you just can't change that.
Announcer 2: You're exactly right, John. There is no doubt in my mind that this mature argument is only going to escalate for that very reason. No matter what you say or do, there's always going to be tension between the sexes.
Announcer 1: We've got some more action going on. The woman is now reaching into her coat and there appears to be some white object in her hand.
Announcer 2: John, that "white object" is a legit used tampon. You know before the show, the people arguing had their weapons confiscated, but I believe that the used tampon is the ultimate weapon a woman can use against the man in this particular kind of situation.
Announcer 1: Absolutely Bill. The used tampon signifies the pain that women go through, and if effectively used against the male, he will lose the argument.
Announcer 2: And that's exactly what the man isn't doing. At this point in time, the man is undergoing a lot of pressure, but with his controlled breathing, he's doing an excellent job at maintaining that stability.
Announcer 1: Indeed he is, Bill. Now he seems to be bringing in his most strongest subjects into the argument. He's talking about the quote "nice guys finish last", his virginity status, and his empty heart.
Announcer 2: Excellent strategy. He's talking about the most common issues that people don't fully understand. A lot of men ask "why do women date assholes?", "why do women say they want a nice guy, but refusing to go out with those nice guys because they're portrayed as only friends?" When it comes to women and who they date, it really opens up a lot of questions and allows the man an adequate amount of time to gather up more information and hit her where it hurts.

Basically, the argument never ends.

In today's world, there's a lot of tension between the sexes. There used to not be a problem -- a woman used to cook because that was part of her responsibility as a wife. Now it's sexist. It used to be that the male was the dominant sex because he's naturally stronger. Now we just don't know. On top of that, there's a lot of women in the world who say things to make males look bad (the most common one being that "all men do is want sex"). Is it true? Everyone wants sex, so that's true. The problem is that a lot of women date the wrong type of guys and end up believing that every guy is the same -- that is not true. It's a never ending battle of the sexes. Males won't always accept females, and females won't always accept males. That's just life.

I like to view things in different points of view -- I don't pick sides in the battle. I understand the stuff that women go through, but it's not an excuse to flaunt it to every guy just so you'll always be right. No one is always right. People need to stop blaming the other sex for their own problem.

So, I'm not on either side. I'm on the bleachers eating popcorn while everyone else bitches about every little thing about the other sex.

Which side are you on?

Dealing With Being Single

Tue, 26 Aug 2008 01:04:24 GMT

Because I'm new to Datingish, I've decided to talk about my relationship status: single. The word "single" itself is not positive or negative -- it's neutral. To a normal human being, "single" is either positive or negative. I, on the other hand, view "single" as neutral.

When I was in middle school, I was top quality. I was sexy, I was fit, I was active, I was funny, etc. I went through relationship after relationship and always walked with pride down the hallways because I knew that many females wanted a chance with me. Essentially, I was full of myself.

By the time I was in 8th grade, I asked a girl out for the first time (before that the girls would ask me out). Not only did she reject, but she also said that I was "too ugly". How was this possible? I was more shocked than I was heartbroken because I was so used to compliments. After this experience, I never would of thought that it'd be the beginning of a new lifestyle.

Back then, I was offered to go to parties, I was offered sex, and I was offered someone to care about. The problem with me back then was that I was too shy and self-conscious that I never got laid, I never successfully made-out with a girl, and I never really understood the concept of a relationship. Because of this, my relationships only lasted three weeks on average (my longest relationship is five weeks).

Ever since that girl called me ugly, I've been single. I thought to myself "maybe high school will be better" because having been kicked out of my mom's house and moved in with my dad in a different county, there was going to be a whole bunch of new hotties that I've never seen before. That was no different, in fact...it was worse.

When I went into high school, I went in with excitement, nervousness, and depression (there's a story why I was kicked out but I don't want to discuss about that). I also had self-esteem issues, not because I was called "ugly", but because I started noticing that my hair was falling out, I was suffering with dandruff, and I was eating fattening foods and not participating in any kind of sport (I played soccer for 8 years until I quit year 2000).

I saw many beautiful girls/women in high school that I just simply couldn't handle being single. I began to feel lonely, depressed, and horny. By the time I was a sophomore, I was masturbating 8 times on average a day! Probably about 20% of my school day, I'd have a tucked in boner I was simply a horndog. Because of this, my beliefs about things started to change. I believed that relationships aren't worth waiting for, and I believed that getting laid was the only thing that mattered. In the real world, I was fine. On the internet, I had several cyber-sex partners, and several downloaded porn videos. The problem was that everything I was doing to deal with being single wasn't helping at all.

As I grew older, I read several self-help books because I decided to turn to professional help. I decided to join www.teenhelp.org for more guidance because I was often facing thoughts of suicide.

I am now 18 years old and not only have I been single for six years, I'm also still a virgin. To be quite honest, being single for six years wasn't what I had in mind, but I learned a lot about how to cope with being single. Because of my experience, I know what it feels like to feel lonely. I know what it feels like to want answers, I know what it feels like to want to kill myself because I didn't think I looked good enough for people, etc. Therefore, I have decided to make a list of the things I've learned to hopefully help those in need.

1. Emotions = Choice: The most important thing that I've learned about being single is how to deal with my emotions. You may not think this but we have the ability to control our emotions. To change your emotions, you must change how you feel about the situation. Maybe you haven't had a girlfriend/boyfriend for a long time, but what's the point in being depressed about it all the time? Being depressed is just going to make the situation worse. You've been single and you've been waiting patiently, so why don't you make yourself a nice cup of tea, pat yourself on the back, and start thinking positive? No one out there is worth your tears. People cannot control your emotions, only you have the power to do that.

2. Relationships = Choice: Quite simply, you don't need a relationship. In fact, you don't need anything. Everything that you do is based off of a choice (just like our emotions!). You don't need a relationship to make you happy because you can feel happy without even having reason to. Don't believe me? Do me a favor and smile. If you smile long enough, your brain will think that you're happy. The mind is a powerful thing...use it well.

3. Lonely vs. Alone: You may be thinking that there's no difference between being lonely and alone, but this is something you also learn about being single for a long time. Just because you're single doesn't mean that you're automatically "lonely". It also doesn't mean that you're "alone". A lot of people assume that just because they're single, they have no one to turn to. Being single for a long time, you learn how to value what you have (friends, family, video games, etc). You may think you aren't loved, but you have to learn how to use what you have. Once you fully understand how to use everything to your benefit, you will see that you've been loved all along.

4. Have patience: If you seriously want a relationship, sitting on your computer chair, or laying on your bed is not going to help you do that. If you're not the kind of person who pursues people, then have patience and let love come to you. Enjoy life either way because, like I said, relationships aren't needs.

5. Stop complaining: Like they say, "if you don't like something about yourself, change it". If you aren't willing to change it, then accept your situation/who you are. You have no reason to complain and not do anything. At least complain about something while doing something to make it better. Problems don't solve themselves. Guys, this goes for you especially because girls like guys with confidence. If you continue to do good acts for yourself, it'll become a consistent habit that will help you better your lifestyle. All it takes is a little commitment.

6. Someone for everyone: You've heard this before and it's true. I've been called several names throughout my life (gay, loser, fat, ugly, stupid, etc) and just because someone says it doesn't make it true. On hotornot.com, it claims that I am 87% hotter than men on the site. It's not very accurate, but it gives me the brief idea that a good percentage of people are interested in me (as compared to my 0% belief). Even when you think you're ugly, you'd be surprised how "hot" people actually consider you.

Conclusion: Basically, live your life. Don't let people take control of you because only you can make that decision of whether or not people control you. There's always going to be someone out there that is in a worse situation than you are who still makes the best out of life, so why don't you? Just because someone doesn't like you doesn't mean no one ever will. All you need is patience, and a commitment to being happy with or without a relationship.

"You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life." - Albert Camus

If I missed something, let me know and I'll add it to the list.

Monday, August 25, 2008

Mon, 25 Aug 2008 23:22:59 GMT

Hi everyone! I'm just getting started on Datingish... Drop me a comment if you've got some ideas on what to do first - or just to say, "Hi!" :-)